Corona Chuckler Gifts

"He says masks are mandatory to enter. Should we try the other place instead?"

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

Keyboard in Heaven

'They come down here to smoke.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

"The sourdough starter says it still believes Covid was a hoax."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

'Bless you!'

'Of course it's renewable -- you just throw more sticks on it!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'