Corn Chip Connoisseur Gifts

"Peepo deedn't like dat I whas a bandido who used gons to steal corn cheeps."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

baby sweetcorn...

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Trail mix?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Baking

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

Aromatherapy for Men

Cereal Tasting.

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"Let's see, we bought the giant pop corn, tow giant sodas, and a big box of candy. . . we were lucky the megaplex's loan department was open!"

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

Fig 1. Fig 2. Fig Newton.

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

Future Wrestler

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'