Cookouts Gifts

"Hey, everybody, we're invited to a cookout!"

Picnic invasion strategy session

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Silly Sausages.

'I know adding beer when barbequeing reduces health risks, but I think you're supposed to add it to the meat.'

Living off the griddle

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Aprons

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Come and get it!"

Not only were the bears coming out of hibernation but they went ahead and invited themselves to dinner.

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

"What about the five that fell through?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."