Cookout Gifts

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

'Fred, everybody is here!'

"But you know I'm vegan."

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

Not only were the bears coming out of hibernation but they went ahead and invited themselves to dinner.

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Stupid thing won't light."

A man steals a steak with a fishing rod

"Uh oh, is that a spit roaster the farmer is putting together?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Aprons

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

"Come and get it!"

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"What about the five that fell through?"

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.