Conversation Killer Gifts

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Suddenly, everyone spoke at once....

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"I know. I miss him, too."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Bar Therapy

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

'Why so stony-faced?'

"She can be outspoken."

The psychiatrist.

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

The Tangents talk it over.

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Verbal blogger.

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.