Conversation Killer Gifts

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I know. I miss him, too."

Suddenly, everyone spoke at once....

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Bar Therapy

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

'Why so stony-faced?'

The psychiatrist.

"She can be outspoken."

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

The Tangents talk it over.

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

Verbal blogger.

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

"Oh, no, silly man - there's no such place as Hades...there is, however, a place where you spend the rest of eternity listening to politics."

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'