Dialogue Disruptor Gifts

Radio phone-in: 'Hello, how are you' time wasters.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"Move, Gary."

Boardroom cream pies.

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"Worst TED talk ever"

Darling, we really should talk some time."

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

Moderates Vs Progressives

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

"OK...is this character insulting?"

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

Spoonfest

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"They were just about to sign off on the deal when you had to throw poop at them!"

"Hi, I'm on the train."

'When you're finished laughing, perhaps you'll let me finish the joke.'

'The people can rest assured this committee is comprised of seasoned legislators...for the most part.'

A dictator makes a speech, about to be doused with water.

Master dog trainer.

'Ssshh! You're disturbing the class.'

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'