Dialogue Disruptor Gifts

Radio phone-in: 'Hello, how are you' time wasters.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"Move, Gary."

Boardroom cream pies.

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"So, any other ideas as to how we can be more disruptive?"

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

Darling, we really should talk some time."

Moderates Vs Progressives

"Worst TED talk ever"

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

"OK...is this character insulting?"

Spoonfest

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Hi, I'm on the train."

"They were just about to sign off on the deal when you had to throw poop at them!"

"I don't mean to interrupt, but..."

'The people can rest assured this committee is comprised of seasoned legislators...for the most part.'

'When you're finished laughing, perhaps you'll let me finish the joke.'

A dictator makes a speech, about to be doused with water.

Master dog trainer.

'Ssshh! You're disturbing the class.'