Negotiation Disruptor Gifts

"They were just about to sign off on the deal when you had to throw poop at them!"

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Changing Minds

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Move, Gary."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

Overdraft limit.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'