Discipline Disrupter Gifts

Master dog trainer.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

"Move, Gary."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

Science Snobs

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

"While your idea is novel and innovative, it questions the status quo and can harm those entrenched in this organization. I'm ruling it out as being too disruptive."

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"You must be the new guy!"

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"Pawn to King Four."

Spoonfest

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"Do you think this color hides my shifting paradigm?"

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

It's the latest thing: a nicotine patch tie.

A dictator makes a speech, about to be doused with water.

'Ssshh! You're disturbing the class.'

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'

"That's the first time he's ever done anything spontaneous!"

'Not everyone gets a chance to write their wrongs.'

TV Kill

do you like democrats of republicans? is that the only choice?

Radio phone-in: 'Hello, how are you' time wasters.

'Would you mind jumping in further down please?'

'We'd like to share a haircut.'