Style Disruptor Gifts

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'

'We'd like to share a haircut.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

Macho Vegetarian

"I can really picture settling down and destroying a suburban family's attic with you."

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

'She wishes.'

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

"Ed was at that awkward in between stage of letting his hair grow out." "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon..."

"You must be the new guy!"

"Do you think this color hides my shifting paradigm?"

"You're different from last time."

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

"Darn, I've done it again!"

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

Spoonfest

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'

Sebastian and his thighs usually disagree when it comes to buying new clothes.

It's the latest thing: a nicotine patch tie.

A dictator makes a speech, about to be doused with water.

Occupy crunch

Master dog trainer.

Man wearing striped shirt visits barber shop.

'Yes, you do look different.... New glasses?'

'Didn't you have a crew cut the last time I looked up?'

TV Kill

"My hair is really annoying me today."