Conversation Juggler Gifts

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"The loser must engage in small talk."

"Despite the emotion in their conversation, there seems to be a language barrier between them."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We have an acronym!"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

A Bloody Butcher

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"It's a swearbox."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

The Communicator

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Overworked

New Ideas in Business.

"Hello?"