Interview Juggler Gifts

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

And you say that's your most noteworthy qualification?

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We have an acronym!"

A Bloody Butcher

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

That party went well.

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"It's a swearbox."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Stop and Birch

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

Brickie's Mate

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

'I love these afternoon jam sessions.'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

Overworked

The Communicator

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

Santas Key Deliverables.

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."