Reality Juggler Gifts

"What already?! You're the ones who are always on about me following my dreams!"

"Oh master! Teach me the way."

ESSENTIALS for those who are OVER 50 AND OUT OF WORK

Work/Life Balance

Stop and Birch

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

'I love these afternoon jam sessions.'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

Children.

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

Swiss army justice.

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

"You've been chosen to represent our establishment at 'Carrers day'. You're always careering from one crisis to the next"

'Life isn't all about the money.It's all about the little people you step on along the way.'

"After working through my vacation, my sick days, and my commute, I'm going into work for some well-deserved down time."

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

"Mommy want you to have everything she had when she was growing up."

'I know your client wants a jury trial, but we can't come up with a jury. People are too busy.'