Conversation Hog Gifts

'Anyway enough about me. Let's talk about my job instead.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"They’re real."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Bar Therapy

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"She can be outspoken."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Have you given your daughter the 'Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free' speech?"

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

"I'll have to go, we've been talking for ages"

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria

'I'll get my people to talk to your people, and we can go off and have a picnic.'

Lady praises date for being a good conversationalist.

"Nice talking to you."

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

Taxi Debates

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

'What have you got to say for yourself? Or would you rather hear about me?'

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."