Conversation Overlord Gifts

'Women experience life at a different frequency.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

The Art of Bantering!

Bar Therapy

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"She can be outspoken."

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

Lady praises date for being a good conversationalist.

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

'I'll get my people to talk to your people, and we can go off and have a picnic.'

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"Nice talking to you."

Taxi Debates

'All those in favor of looking at pictures of grandchildren before we start bitching about their parents, say aye.'

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

'What have you got to say for yourself? Or would you rather hear about me?'

'Cute.'

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

'What's wrong? Have you got laryngitis?'

The Original Drone