Convenience Connoisseur Gifts

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

Pond Village Store Generalists

Woman looks at frozen ready meal and says to man: 'You may have bought them from the corner shop, but that doesn't mean they're 'locally-sourced'.'

Microwave ready meals.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Bookworm Sleepover

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Electric Blanket.

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

Second aid

"They've got insulation to die for!"

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"You're stealing the blanket."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

Junior's Towel

Church Drive-Thru.

Maids At Home.

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

I can remember before e-mails when it would take me TWICE as long to waste HALF as much of their time

Uptight Fishing...'we put the bait on for you'

'Never stand when you can sit. Never sit when you can lie down.'

'What are the three basic food groups?'