Controversy Captains Gifts

'I don't want to talk about contraception. I'm more about misconception.'

"You're fired."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

'Remember that Op-Ed piece you wrote last month?...'

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

The Logic of Impeaching Trump as Applied to Watergate

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

Cloning...Oops! Oxelot.

LEV Trump

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

"I have a warrant for the arrest of Sandro Botticelli."

Roger Clemens: Innocent until proven guilty.

'I think I'll write it up for 'The Journal of Controversial Research'.'

Trump's Twitter Row

Jihadi Art Critics Circle

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'My career goals? Writing political attack ads would combine my love of blogging and bullying.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

"Sometimes it's so bleedin' hard to know who to vote for."

Face Trophies

Save the Smallpox Virus t-shirt slogan

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

Limbaugh and the GOP.

Anti-Vax: Death Cult