Controller Gifts

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Accountant sings the blues

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Kinda Fun

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'A cheeky red?'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Rage.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Do you have any catsup?'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Fast food. Even faster food

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"You owe me five bucks."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Homo Gamus