Control Gifts

"Who is the conductor?"

'Children are out of the question, Margaret. One day all this would be theirs and I just couldn't stand that.'

Remote control pirate bully

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"By labeling it, I control it."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Bedroom Traffic Control

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

A politician's dream come true...

'What a control freak!'

'It's your remote. Hold on to it. Don't let other people push your buttons.' The kind of help men go for.

A Kangermoo

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Editorial Control

"I'll give you this if you don't tell Dad."

"Mabel, you are becoming a control freak..."

God creates humans.

"I am a control freak."

Accountant sings the blues

Ding and Dong.

the bureaucrat's desk

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

"I like things to be done my way but by somebody else."

'I tell you, the guy's a total control freak!'

Micromanager of the Year Award: 'No, you need to present the award from my left...and did you do the awards form 87F, 2012?...'

"My mom was a helicopter parent growing up and now she's become a B52 since I started working."

'These new electronic tags are fantastic, they really make it possible for managers to keep track.'

"I have no problem with dictatorships; my problem is with not being the dictator."

"I hope this isn't another one of your crazy bounce-me-off-the-wall ideas."

Combating Zika

I want you to make it so my eyes follow everybody around the boardroom.