Control Aficionado Gifts

'I tell you, the guy's a total control freak!'

Artisanal-retentive baker

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

"By labeling it, I control it."

Camping-Pong

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Antler Buzzers.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'What a control freak!'

'It's your remote. Hold on to it. Don't let other people push your buttons.' The kind of help men go for.

"I've heard that you two don't have enough to do."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

Judge

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'