Regulation Aficionado Gifts

'I'm the new safety officer.'

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

J. P. Morgan whale harpooned by bank regulators.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Judge

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

News and Magazines. New Economic Regulations. "New economic regulations" --- What do you suppose they are? "Come to a complete stop"?

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep