Regulation Aficionado Gifts

'I'm the new safety officer.'

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

Judge

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'Dodd Frank Chopper at 2 o'clock!'

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'