Regulations Enthusiast Gifts

Screwed Again By New Credit Card Rules.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

News and Magazines. New Economic Regulations. "New economic regulations" --- What do you suppose they are? "Come to a complete stop"?

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

J. P. Morgan whale harpooned by bank regulators.

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

'Dodd Frank Chopper at 2 o'clock!'

European Union versus Big Tech

'We are from the F.B.L.'

"Welcome to the building, Mrs. Bergdorf. We'd like to go over the condo's rules with you."

'H&S say we can't serve you food in case you get fat...another glass of room temperature water?'

Non-metric speak your weight machine

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'The lobbyists' bucks stop here'

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment..'

"Hold on. To avoid getting sued, I'll have to run it by legal."