Regulatory Enthusiasts Gifts

"Relax! They'll be gone soon. . ."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

Corporate person hood!

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

'Dodd Frank Chopper at 2 o'clock!'

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

'We are from the F.B.L.'

Anti-litter by-law in effect

A batch of bills are abandoned near the end of the parliamentry session

'H&S say we can't serve you food in case you get fat...another glass of room temperature water?'

Non-metric speak your weight machine

'The lobbyists' bucks stop here'

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

'It's got to be some kind of scam -- he has all his legislation copyrighted.'

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment..'

"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."