Contraption Critic Gifts

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

The Jerry Scarer

Clam Spearing

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Air Dentistry

Wangling War Films How To Make and Fake Them: II The Popular Film of a Taube soaring over Rheims Cathedral

Wangling War Films How to Make and Fake Them: IV The Fall of Przemysl.

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

Testing a Fiancee

Bagging the Chipmunk

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

'He's supposed to be the world's oldest turtle!'

Square Pegs into Round Holes

Wangling War Films How to Make and Fake Them: III The Arrival of German prisoners at Margate Jetty by the Night boat from Boulogne.

Lighting a Pipe

The Haroplane

Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.

"For heaven's sake - just pass me the ketchup!"

Ski Vagaries in Switzerland

Decoying the Giraffe

Trapping the Polecat

How to Avoid Tears when Peeling Onions

"These things work better if you don't explain the plot."