Contradictions Philosopher Gifts

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

Burning the Other

"No aliens"

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

New Capitalism

Guru Shifted Thinking

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

The Devil screeming hate speech through a megaphone called "tolerance" at a person holding up a sign that says "free speech"

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'But what if you're a masochist...?'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

"On the other hand, he's really good on infrastructure and tax reform."

Society for the Furtherance of Liberal Thought.

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'