Contradictions Gifts

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"No aliens"

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

Oxymorons

'But what if you're a masochist...?'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'

"On the other hand, he's really good on infrastructure and tax reform."

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

Free Contradictions only $2.00.

Cowboys in a saloon gather around a Georgia O'Keefe painting.

"You see, there's proof I'm in the majority. I don't believe in polls and neither do 59% of other guys."

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

"... a 24 hour mimosa bar, and a 'free love' dating policy! Anyway, how's it been going for you?"

Clancy: Good Idea

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

'For every consultant there's an equal and opposite consultant.'