Contract Junkies Gifts

'Your salary will remain high, but management gets a share of any baseball card royalties.'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'There was a catch to my lawyer's pro bono offer.'

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

'Doctor, you're on the edge of violating your non-compete.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'