Contract Crafter Gifts

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Do it yourself books.

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Traffic Cone Monsters

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

Brain Power

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'Let's run it through legal.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

Cross-country knitting.

School Pantomime Rehearsals.

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

"I had to get braces."

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

New Years Reolutions

A woman knits from a globe.

Moog invented the blog.

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

Wooly mammoth

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

"You've got to give him credit - He was the first in his family to learn to talk."

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

'Well, the new contract appears to be a win-win, just not for physicians.'

Employee help

"All too human is fine- unless, of course, it's all too often."

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

"Nice igloo, but why isn't it melting?!"