Contract Creator Gifts

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

The Map of the human brain

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

Creator's Block

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."