Contract Writer Gifts

"Too wordy...I'm kidding. I just get a kick out of saying that."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''