Contract Writing Gifts

"Oh dear did we neglect to read the contract thoroughly?"

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'