Contract Negotiation Gifts

"It's a pretty standard contract - just sign here below, ' ... and hung by the neck until dead.'"

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

"My client wants a fifty-per-cent salary boost, a bonus guarantee, and a snappy choreographed victory dance he can do after he makes a touchdown."

"We can negotiate any type of contract but we specialize in 'me too' clauses."

"Your client's already agreed to sign for £75,000 a week and a new house - now he also wants a big party when he's 18?"

'The only time he gives 110 percent is during contract negotiations.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'We've negotiated a contract in which my client agrees to always give it 104 percent.'

"The top page is the statement of agreement, the next page is the contract signature page, then the addendum, the finally, a warrant for your arrest."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

SALE

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.