Contract Negotiator Gifts

'OK, in the new contract, you get your birthdays off, and on my birthday, you work twice as hard.'

Hockey player with dollar sign "It was in his contract."

"No, I didn't read a scary book! I just read management's latest contract proposal."

"I've been traded to another HMO for an orthopedist to be named later."

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

Field of dreams: The later years.

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

Sports Lawyers

"Ok, Ok, I'll see what I can do about your contract.. now get off and give one of the kids a go!"

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

"Goes to show ou can't please all of the people all of the time!"

"The top page is the statement of agreement, the next page is the contract signature page, then the addendum, the finally, a warrant for your arrest."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Changing Minds

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21