Contract Comic Lover Gifts

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

International Women's Day

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

An early space launch attempt.

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Zeus's Caddy

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Princess Anne