Contract Closer Gifts

"Relax, Ashwell. We don't say 'Ka-ching' until the deal is signed."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

God's Subcontractors

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

Fish and color

'Dog eat dog.'

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'