Contract Reviewer Gifts

"The advice was free. But the office visit was a hundred bucks an hour."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

Ask about the incentive plan - Miss one payment and we take you to court.

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Shipping contract.

"The little one? That's for small print!"

Baseball contract signing gloves.

A. Einstein. E = MC2. Yes, I do space-time research, but that doesn't mean I know how to get you out of your timeshare contract.

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

'Sorry boss, we lost 5-0. What are you eating?'

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"It doesn't bother me so much since he signed that NDA."

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'