Contraceptive Supporter Gifts

Safe Sex

Window Treatment

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Client screamed, "I HATE SPRING!" and continued to have a meltdown. Diagnosis: Seasonal Affective Disorder."

New arrival

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

Nutritional Supplements.

"Tell me about your programmer."

'Mr. Figgs - any door with doctor on it - knock-go in-smile-sit down-poor out your woes.'

Patient jumps out of window.

Give Sleep a Chance

"I've been experiencing a lot of deja flew, lately."

Proud Mum.

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Rishi Sunak

'They're not reliable.'

"Why don't you let me be the judge of what is or isn't normal."

Freud's Bar: Introspection Hour.

'My claustrophobia is getting wrong.'

'If anyone here objects to the marriage of these two men, speak up now because opponents are aging and dying off and soon won't matter anymore...'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Lab Rat Rehab.

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'When I close my eyes I can almost forget that I'm...I can't even say it...a horse

Pope recognizes same sex civil union

Therapy dog

"How are the anti-depressants working?"