Contraception Enthusiast Gifts

A man on the street selling birth control.

New arrival

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'They're not reliable.'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"Would you like to supersize that?"

"This pill is the only thing that will cure you. The good news is that it's up to you whether or not you take it orally."

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"We came up with a pill that cures everything...but I'm warning you, it's gonna be expensive."

"This is wonderful. It will help millions of people."

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

Safe sex.

'I took one look at the prescription price and ruptured a blood vessel!'

"We've managed to cut down the sixteen pills you were taking to just one!"

Morning After Pill

"Father I'm guilty of spermicide"