Contraceptive Humor Fans Gifts

New Contraceptive Methods

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

The Snooze Bar.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Beer Parasol.

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Tequila Mockingbird

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

No, I don

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Standard & Poor

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"