Contraception Contemplator Gifts

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

Sisyphus during Covid

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

New arrival

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

'They're not reliable.'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

Albert Camus.

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

"I wonder what happened in all those other timelines?"

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

Safe sex.

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

"If I were a dog I'd only be nine years old."

The Master Switch

Morning After Pill

'Did I take my pill today?'

Weight gain on the pill.

"Father I'm guilty of spermicide"

The nearness of you.

A man on the street selling birth control.

"I've given up trying to do a cardio workout."

"And the best-case scenario? How many more?"

"I'm afraid I can't arrange an emergency vasectomy just because you think you've got a hot date on Saturday."

Family Planning: Contraceptives Should Be Used On Every Conceivable Occasion!

Man looking at a pack of condoms on a shop shelf that has the label, "Family Size".