Contraception Gifts

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

Safe sex.

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"Father I'm guilty of spermicide"

Weight gain on the pill.

'Did I take my pill today?'

New arrival

Morning After Pill

Man looking at a pack of condoms on a shop shelf that has the label, "Family Size".

"Well, there is a part of me that would quite like to have a child, but I keep a condom on it!"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

'They're not reliable.'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, 'It's for nuclear family non-proliferation.'

Reaper Condom

'Just the one, thanks.'

New Contraceptive Methods

Condom Police: 'Wallet's empty. Same old story - says he just ran out.'

A man on the street selling birth control.

"I'm afraid I can't arrange an emergency vasectomy just because you think you've got a hot date on Saturday."

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

Family Planning: Contraceptives Should Be Used On Every Conceivable Occasion!

Safe Sex

DOUBLE SAFE SEX "Good idea - I'll wear mine and you'll wear yours."

Condom-Man to the rescue!

"It's the pill you have when you haven't had your pill."

'It took a little time, but we finally made the house baby-proof.'