Contraception Planner Gifts

"I'm afraid I can't arrange an emergency vasectomy just because you think you've got a hot date on Saturday."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Babies.

New arrival

Baby name suggestions.

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

Please take a number.

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"Better put out notepads and pens in case any of them has an idea."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Pregnancy.

Baby boom expected due to corona

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'To err is human. To really screw up requires a plan.'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'