Contortionist Admirer Gifts

Gymnast tangled up.

Romantic Giraffes

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Punk Reindeer

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Grim's Fairytales

Magician Playing Golf.

No Right Turn (monster)

Artistic license.

Artistic Grammar … Van Gogh. Van Going. Van Gone.

'What's wrong with you?'

'To be built on this site - an exact duplicate of the building that was just turn down (we liked the international style after all).

Virginia Woolf

'Hey Bob, this trampoline doesn't seem to work...'

Cakeless.

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

Multitasking

"Sorry, Barnes, but you're not getting credit for that deal you closed. You tested positive for job performance enhancing drugs."

'It sold for how much!'

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

Mid century modern. Midwest boring

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

Vampire shunning crucifix-in-a-can.

Skeleton Portrait Painting

"In light of the recent normalization of so much abhorrent speech and behavior, the defendant respectfully enters a plea of "Seriously?" to the crimes he's charged with!"

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

Meet the Artist