Contortion Connoisseurs Gifts

Planning officer has a man in his in-tray: 'In order to speed up the system, I have my own personal member of the public to consult.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Romantic Giraffes

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Trump returns home

Clown's In and Out Trays.

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

Clown Watercooler

Artistic license.

Conspiracy Theory Books

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"Just junk mail."

Multitasking

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

Gymnast tangled up.

A politician points in the direction forward while being carried by members of the public.

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

Things You Should Know About...

"Stop, you idiot! Can't you read?!"

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'That explains why I have so much trouble parallel parking.'

'Mahler's 9th?'