Contortionism Gifts

Gymnast tangled up.

Yoga for Alcoholics

Romantic Giraffes

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

Artistic license.

Whipping Cream

"Frankly, I don't believe his tastevin is in the repair shop."

Multitasking

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

'If everyone's thinking outside the box a man who thinks inside the box is bound to have the advantage.'

"My daughter tells me that you work in the entertainment industry?"

Multitasking

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

'I know we're supposed to flock together, but I want to see a different movie...'

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

"The hardest part about school is trying to fit in."

Planning officer has a man in his in-tray: 'In order to speed up the system, I have my own personal member of the public to consult.'

Sitting Disorder Clinic.

A crooked guy looking normal in a fun house mirror.

"It hurts when I do this ... "

'For every consultant there's an equal and opposite consultant.'

"It says here that you're a contortionist and since your accident you've not been able to make ends meet."

Contortionist

National Union of Contortionists: We vote with our feet

"I hate poems. They're boring and pretentious."

'They say youth is wasted on the young but I think old age comes at a pretty lousy time too.'

"Yuck. I could make better crêpes fourrées aux boeufs brouillés au parmesan myself."

Contrarian Society - Entrance at rear of building.

"I'll have what everyone else is having."

"Fancy going on a bender tonight?"

'You've got to give up these escape attempts,'