Consumer Adventurer Gifts

"The village shaman said if we stay on this path, we can’t miss the Walmart."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

The Salesman

"How was work?"

Before/After

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Holiday Supplies

Myths and legends...

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Creative Baby.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Platter confusion.

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Spaghetti Road