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"The village shaman said if we stay on this path, we can’t miss the Walmart."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"How was work?"

The Salesman

Before/After

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Holiday Supplies

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Myths and legends...

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Creative Baby.

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Platter confusion.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Spaghetti Road

Decaying corpse