Constructive Critics Gifts

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

Movies vs. Films

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"I could do that."

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

Social Welfare next!

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"I call it 'You kids turn down that so-called music. I can't even hear myself scream.'"

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

'In and/or out' sign on door of department of philosophy