Constructive Critic Gifts

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Contractors view yet another 'artist's impression' of the proposed new art gallery.

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"That was a brilliant observation, but it was poorly phrased."

Compliments and Complaints.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"I think it was an election year."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"I could do that."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

Social Welfare next!

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

Evolution of Man

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

'In and/or out' sign on door of department of philosophy

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

"It's called 'ever been had?'."