Constructive Critic Pillows

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Contractors view yet another 'artist's impression' of the proposed new art gallery.

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"That was a brilliant observation, but it was poorly phrased."

Compliments and Complaints.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"I think it was an election year."

Movies vs. Films

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"I could do that."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

Social Welfare next!

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

Evolution of Man

"I call it 'You kids turn down that so-called music. I can't even hear myself scream.'"