Construction Code Critic Gifts

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Town Planning Department

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'Ingredients: 'pine, ash, walnut, nails, insulation materials of unknown origin and all-natural asphalt shingles.'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

What code violations?

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

Coming soon: 175,000 sq. ft. Inferiority Complex

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

'We're going to need more money just to complete the model.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

Road Construction Blues.

Foreclosure.